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Last night I had two consecutive experiences showing with extreme precision that black magic is at the root of all this (Mother is speaking of both general and personal difficulties, in the Ashram and in her body).
First of all, on the mental plane (the physical-mind, the
material mind) I saw an individual.... I am not entirely certain of his
identity (when I saw him last night I didn't associate him with anyone
in particular) but from his outer appearance he is evidently a sannyasi.
He was pursuing me, blocking my way and trying to stop me from doing my
work (it was a long, long affair). But I was very conscious and could
foresee everything he was about to do, so it had no effect. After a long
while I emerged from this - I had something else to do and I left - and
on my way home he was everywhere, hiding and trying to catch me; but he
didn't succeed in doing anything. And I knew he had been acting in this
manner for a long time.
Then I woke up (I always wake up three or four times during the
night) and when I went back to bed I had an attack of what the doctor
and I have taken to be filariasis - but a strange type of filariasis,
for as soon as I master it in one spot it appears in another, and when I
master it there it reappears somewhere else. Last night it was in the
arms (it lasted quite a while, between 2:30 and 4 a.m.); but I was fully
conscious, and each time the attack came, I went like this (gestures over the arms, to drive away the attack) and
my arms were not affected at all. When it was over, I consciously
entered the most material subtle physical, just beyond the body. I was
sitting in 'my room' there (an immense, cubic room) reading or writing
something, when I heard the door open and close, but I was busy and
didn't pay attention, presuming it was one of the people usually around
me. Then suddenly I had such an unpleasant sensation in my body that I
raised my head and looked, and I saw someone there. Do you know how the
magicians in Europe dress, in short satin breeches and a shirt? ... He
was wearing something like that. He was Indian, tall and rather dark,
with slicked-down hair - what you would normally call a 'handsome young
man.' He seemed to have been 'drawn' [[Mother means drawn by a force not
his own. ]] there because he was standing in front of me staring into space, not looking at me.
[133] And the moment I saw him, there was the same sensation in all my
cells as I have with what I've been calling filariasis (it's a special,
minute kind of pain) and simultaneously all the cells felt disgust - a
tremendous will of rejection. Then I sat up straight (I didn't stand up)
and said to him as forcefully as possible, How do you dare to come in here! I said it so loudly that the noise woke me up! I don't know what happened then, but things went much better afterwards.
The moment I saw this person I knew he was only an instrument,
but a well-paid instrument - someone paid a great deal to have him do
that! I would recognize him again among hundreds ... I can still see him
... I see him more clearly than with physical eyes. He is an
unintelligent man with no personal animosity, merely a very well-paid
instrument - someone is hiding behind him, using him as a screen.
Before that experience, as part of the attack, I also got a sore
throat. I didn't believe it would manifest, but around 9:30 this morning
when I came downstairs for meditation with X, [[The tantric guru. ]]
it did. It's nothing at all, though. The whole time I was with X (and
even before, when I was waiting for him), it was halted completely -
everything in that room came to a halt. It started up again only after
he left and I came here. But it's nothing.
X told me he has been doing something for me in his puja [[Puja: ceremony, invocation or evocation of a god (in this case, a tantric ritual). ]] - since
December, it seems - so this morning I thought he should know about the
experience and I sent Amrita to tell him. He replied to Amrita that
this confirmed his certainty that Z has been making black magic against
me since December. He had been told that Z was practicing black magic in
Kashmir. Could this be the same person I saw before [during the
December 1958 attack]? Since it was someone who concealed his identity, I
can't say - but this form was robed as a sannyasi. Perhaps it's he, I
don't know. I reserve my judgment because I don't know personally. But
this is what X said, and he's going to redouble his efforts.
That's the situation. page 133-34 - Mother's Agenda , volume - 2 , 21st March 1961 |
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It's not something 'miraculous,' you know. To be really satisfied,
the human mind always needs some kind of miracle. In its thought, the
miraculous is associated with the Divine. I know, because I was born
like that. I felt like that when I was very young. And only because life
has dealt me some extremely brutal denials have I come to this kind of
... sober and reasonable attitude. You know (I told you this the other
day), it's disgusting! (Mother laughs) All the bloom has gone ...
banished by the hard knocks of life. For I was born with this feeling
that ... yes, that Truth is something miraculous, which has only to show
itself to prevail.
It would be like that - without the adverse forces.
The universe would be like that, if it had not been for the
deviation of the adverse forces - I see it very clearly. The perversion,
the cold-blooded and cruel perversion of sheer malevolent will keeps it
from being like that. That's what intervenes.... They all call it an
'accident,' but a lot of good that does us! The fact is there.
The adverse force is what keeps the Divine from blossoming
miraculously whenever He appears. Because I know that wherever Matter is
not under the influence of this adverse will to any degree, it blossoms
immediately. And everything in the human heart, in human consciousness,
in human thought, all that is slightly sheltered from this adverse
influence - sheltered by the psychic, the divine Presence - blossoms,
becomes ... immediately becomes marvelous, without any obstacle - all
the obstacles come from that source. So it's all very well to call it an
'accident,' but....
It's obviously reparable, there's no doubt about that, but at what price? And
how it complicates things! page 154 - Mother's Agenda, volume 2, 7th April - 1961 |
You know, I can say one thing about this.... There's a
type of woman I have met more or less periodically throughout my life.
These beings are under the influence, or are incarnations of, or in any
case are responsive to forces which Theon called 'passive' - not exactly
feminine forces, but on the Prakriti [[Prakriti: Nature or the
executive force, as opposed to Purusha, the conscious Soul which sees,
knows and creates through its vision. These are the two principles,
feminine and masculine, of the universe. ]] side of the universe:
the dark Prakriti side (there is an active dark side, the asuric forces,
and a passive dark side). And these are terrible beings, terrible! They
have wreaked havoc in life. They represent one of the creation's
biggest difficulties. And they are attracted to me! Mon petit, they adore me, they detest me, they would like to destroy me - and individually they CANNOT do without me! They come to me like ... like fireflies to light. And they hate me! They would like to crush me. That's how it is. I have met five women like that, the last two here (they were the most terrible). It's a phenomenon of hate and rage mixed with love's greatest power of attraction - no sweetness, of course, no tenderness, nothing like that - but NEED, love's greatest power of attraction, mixed with hate. And they cling, you know, and then ... what fun! I had a session like that some days ago - it's a
work I'm pursuing. (Likewise, I have constantly been with the adverse
force I once told you about, [[See Agenda of March 26, 1959 (Vol.
1, p. 288): the Titan sent especially to attack Mother's body, and who
uses the people around her for this purpose. ]] who keeps incarnating
especially to harass me - so there's also this phenomenon, amiably
passing from one being to another!) Anyway, not long ago I had given an
appointment to this woman and had decided not to say anything - because
there was nothing to be done (the most beautiful things go rotten,
there's nothing to do). So I remained silent, indrawn, fully in contact
with the Supreme Presence, with the external personality annulled (this
experience, in fact, lasting almost one hour, is what gave me the key to
everything that has been happening lately). There was only the Supreme,
nothing else - the Supreme THERE, in that very body, mon petit, in that
whole agglomeration and in that apparently absolutely anti-divine
influence - HIS Presence was there!
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Just between eleven and twelve [last night] I had an experience by which I discovered that there is a group of people - purposely their identity was not revealed to me - wanting to create a kind of religion based on the revelation of Sri Aurobindo. But they have taken only the side of power and force, a certain kind of knowledge and all which could be utilized by Asuric forces. There is a big Asuric being that has succeeded in taking the appearance of Sri Aurobindo. It is only an appearance. This appearance of Sri Aurobindo has declared to me that the work I am doing is not his. It has declared that I have been a traitor to him and to his work and has refused to have anything to do with me. There is in that group a man whom I must have seen once or twice, who is not with them in spirit, but only in appearance, but without knowledge. He does not know what kind of being it is. And he always hopes to make him accept me, believing it is truly Sri Aurobindo. I saw this being last night. I won't tell you all the details of the vision. It is not necessary. But I must say that I was fully conscious, aware of everything, knowing that there was an Asuric Force there, but not rejecting it, because of the infinity of Sri Aurobindo. I knew that everything is part of him and I do not want to reject anything. I met this being last night three times, even apologized for sins that I have not committed, and in full love and surrender. I woke up at twelve, remembering everything. Between 12:15 and two I was with the true Sri Aurobindo in the fullest and sweetest relationship - there also in perfect consciousness, awareness, calm, and equanimity. At two I woke up and noted that just before, Sri Aurobindo himself showed me that still he was not completely master of the physical realm. I woke up at two and noticed that the heart had been affected by the attack of this group that is wanting to take my life away from this body, because they know that as long as I am in a body upon earth their purpose cannot succeed. Their first attack was many years ago in vision and action. It happened during the night and I spoke of it to no one. I noted the date, and if I can come out of this crisis, I will find it and give it out. They would have liked me dead years ago. It is they who are responsible for these attacks on my life. Until now I am alive because the Lord wants me to be alive, otherwise I would have gone long ago. I am no more in my body. I have left the Lord to take care of it, if it is to have the Supramental or not. I know, and I have also said, that now is the last fight. If the purpose for which this body is alive is to be fulfilled, that is to say, the first steps towards the Supramental transformation, then it will continue today. It is the Lord's decision. I am not even asking what He has decided. If the body is incapable of bearing the fight, if it has to be dissolved, then humanity will pass through a critical time. What the Asuric Force that has succeeded in taking the appearance of Sri Aurobindo will create is a new religion or thought, perhaps cruel and merciless, in the name of the Supramental Realisation. But everybody must know that it is not true, it is not Sri Aurobindo's teaching, not the truth of his teaching. The truth of Sri Aurobindo is a truth of love and light and mercy. He is good and great and compassionate and divine.... Et c'est Lui qui aura la victoire finale....[[And He will have the final victory. ]] Now, individually, if you want to help, you have only to pray. What the Lord wants will be done. Whatever He wills, He will do with this body, which is a poor thing. (Sometime later, when the communication was read to her.) The fight is within the body. It can't go on. They must be defeated or else this body is defeated.... All depends on what the Lord decides.... It is the battlefield. How far it can resist I don't know. After all, it depends on Him. He knows if the time has come or not, the time for the beginning of the Victory - then the body will survive. If not, in any case, my love and consciousness will be there. page 129-131 , Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 3rd April 1962 |